Be Easy On Each Other

I have come across a couple situations regarding the ethics of caring recently. When you are in the midst of issues that are important and there is no consesus, tempers can flare.

In the first situation, one elder gentleman with mild cognitive impairment is very sick. The staff love and care about this man very much and they are arguing with each other (and anyone who will listen) about how he should be cared for. While we know basically how he should be cared for because the care plans are written out, there are always gray areas. You can't cover everything in a book when you are working with humans. When the staff argue about this and many other situations not covered in "the book", little gets accomplished except for inconsistent care. The individual staff members have a hard time seeing that all the staff have this man's best interest at heart. The arguments get heated because everyone thinks that their way is truly the best and only way.

In the second situation, another person is also sick - an older woman with dementia and profound intellectual disability. Since recent medication reductions, she has been purposely hurting herself and yelling loudly. If she re-starts those psychoactive medications, she will be lethargic and unresponsive most of the day, sleeping through meals and activities that are important to her. If she doesn't re-start at least some of the medications, she will continue to be truly distressed most of her waking hours. Staff, clinicians, and medical personnel understandably debate the merits of either approach, at times with anger and frustration, because we haven't found that happy medium between agitation and sleeping for her. It's a quality of life issue. 

We feel frustrated in these and other situations because the people we care about are hurting and we feel powerless to provide them what they seem to need. While we are waiting for the answers that may never come, we need to be as good to that individual as we can, and we need to be easy on each other. When the individuals we care about are hurting, the people around them hurt, too. Anger in these situations could be effectively replaced with understanding. Instead of anger toward your fellow team member, understand that that person also only wants what is best for that person, and start from there in working together to meet their needs.