Life, Adapted

Many of us adapt our lives and our surroundings for success. Eyeglasses would be a good example. We use these as adaptive equipment in order to see better, if we were born with poor eyesight. We use wheelchairs, canes, and walkers to help us move from place to place if we can't walk well. We use thin rubber thingys to unscrew the tops of jars. These and other such things permit us to live a full and independent life.

We have lots of adaptive equipment and techniques for the people with intellectual and physical disabilities I work with. They use special utensils and dishes so they can eat independently. They use communication devices for people who can't talk but can push a button to say the words. They use various adaptations to their work supplies so they complete their work as independently as possible. The list goes on.

My daughter, S, does not have the need for adaptive equipment. She sees better than all of us and walks very well. Nevertheless, there are some things we adapt in order to meet her needs and help her live a happy, successful life. As a family we have also adapted our own lives to live harmoniously together.

This weekend, we were planning on going to Hershey Theme Park. S was really looking forward to it all week. In order to make adaptations for our trip, we asked for a hotel room away from the parking lot and preferably quiet because she gets scared of noises outdoors. We bought expensive tickets for the park but we never ride the rides. We only walk around the park because S is afraid of riding in most moving vehicles except for cars. The motion seems to bother her physically and makes her feel unsafe. She has a very strong interest in roller coasters but can't get too close to them because of the noise they make so we have to give a wide berth to many rides as we walk around. We also have to anticipate crowds and give her lots of downtime to decompress back in the hotel room if she is in crowds for long periods.

We do similar things in our daily lives to help S be successful, so our own lives get adapted, too. This is neither good nor bad, it just is.We don't go to movies because they are too loud and dark so we wait and buy a lot of dvd's. We have to listen to the same songs hundreds of times. Ditto with certain portions of movies that get played over and over. We do certain activities in small bits so as to desensitize S with the hope that she can enjoy them fully one day. We have to make dental appointments in the morning before breakfast so she won't vomit and then we have to promise she doesn't have to sit in the dental chair because it moves mechanically. The poor dental hygienist and dentist are very accommodating by letting her sit in a regular chair but I think their backs hurt afterwards. S watches the clock (actually watches television for the time) and knows what time the normal things in her life happen. If any of us are a few minutes off, she starts to get anxious, so we are either on time, or we become anxious. We have to take the stairs, never the escalator. It might seem dysfunctional to make all these adaptions in our family but it is functional for us.

We had to adapt our Hershey vacation when it was almost time to head out. S got very animated (picture Dustin Hoffman when he is about to board the airplane in 'Rainman') and announced insistently that she wasn't going because she was afraid. No logical arguments or cajoling could change her mind.

We went to Darien Lake Theme Park instead. And spent a huge amount of money just walking around because they don't have discounted tickets for people with disabilities or people who just want to stroll and not ride. It was successful, though, because now S says she is not scared and can go to Hershey next time.