Theme Meals and the Art of Decision-Making

We have great food and many opportunities for personal choices regarding meals at the group homes. The individuals meet regularly to determine what they want on their menus while at the same time learning about wellness and healthy choices.

Last week at one of the homes, one of the individuals planned what is called a 'theme meal' for herself and her friends. Her birthday is coming up and at almost all of the homes the individuals devise their birthday meal of choice. S decided she wanted a southern meal and came up with a great plan independently. This is what she wants: barbeque chicken, macaroni and cheese, cornbread, okra, collard greens, grits, carrot raisin salad, tossed salad, and fruit pizza for dessert.

A few days later during a staff training, the topic of S's birthday meal came up. As the staff discussed the birthday plans and logistics of the day coming up next week, we realized that S's meal is huge and that we have to stay in budget and be conscious of not over-eating. There were about 12 staff members around the table deciding how to scale back this birthday meal. The discussion included reducing the carbs, not needing two salads and two vegetables, and wondering if the fruit pizza is taking the place of the traditional cake and ice cream. The team was not able to reach a consensus when some wise person in the room said that S would probably be able to make these decisions and would be happy to be included in the process. Everyone readily and happily agreed. And that afternoon, when it was brought to her attention, S easily realized that the meal was too big and was able to come up with a plan she liked. So we are going to have barbecue chicken, mac and cheese, collard greens, carrot raisin salad, and fruit pizza for S's birthday.

How did we initially forget that part about including S in this decision? How often do we make decisions for someone else when they have the capability to make the entire decision by themselves? And in cases where they need help in making decisions, do we remember to include them in the process by talking with them, asking them, and teaching them how to make good decisions?

If we had not included S in the final decision of her birthday meal, the outcome might have been entirely different. S is keenly aware of the situations where she feels she is not being treated as an equal to staff. If she had been told and not asked, this could have set us all up for power struggles and hard feelings over the simple topic of a meal choice.