Book Review: Following Ezra

Following Ezra: What One Father Learned About Gumby, Otters, Autism, and Love From His Extraordinary Son by Tom Fields-Meyer.

"As his father, what is my role? To run ahead of him and lead him in safe direction? To walk by his side, holding his hand? To try to pull him back to familiar territory? Long ago, I made my choice: to follow Ezra and to watch, in awe and mystery, as my son makes his own unique way in the world."

The main theme of this book is about acceptance. The author accepts his son Ezra for who he is without wanting to change him or without wanting him to be someone different. Ezra is autistic and his father celebrates who he is rather than grieving who Ezra might have been without autism. He watches Ezra find his own way while supporting him when he needs the guidance. He learned much by just observing Ezra as he interacted with the world.

What if we all did the same? What if we accepted people with developmental disabilities just as they are without trying to change them? Instead of primarily thinking we are going to teach them something, we would follow their lead and watch them grow on their own terms? Perhaps, as Ezra's father did, we would be open to learning something from them in the process. His father still provided guidance when he thought Ezra was stuck but he worked with Ezra to help him figure this out for himself. Because of this approach, Ezra feels smart and capable despite being autistic. He thinks of autism as a strength. And it is. I want everyone with intellectual and developmental disabilities to feel this way and to be thought of this way. Strong and capable.