Doors

Have you ever thought deeply about doors?

The other day I saw a staffer knock on an individual's door and then enter. Of course knocking before entering is a respectful practice. In this and many other cases, though, we don't wait for their response. Either we think they are not going to respond, or we have taught them not to respond by always walking in without waiting to be invited in. Remembering that individuals with cognitive impairments often have processing delays, try to knock and wait. And really wait. If they don't say 'come in' or 'go away' or come to the door after a few seconds, knock again. And wait. If they still don't respond, open the door a little and ask if you can come in. You still might not get an answer. The individual might not even have the ability to answer verbally, but do this anyway. If we have taught them not to be empowered to answer their own doors, we can re-teach them to answer their doors. This will give them just a little more power in their lives.

On another day (and almost every day), I saw a staffer and individual come upon a door together and they wanted to enter. In this and the majority of cases, the staffer opened the door for them both. This seems a very kind and respectful gesture. But are we taking something away from them by always opening and closing doors for individuals with disabilities? It's a possibility that they need help with the door, but in many cases, they can do it themselves (even if just to push the accessibility button to open the automatic door). And if you let them open the door, it gives them the opportunity to do something nice for you. How many ways to we encourage them to contribute something and to feel truly productive and important to others? I hope the answer is an incredible amount. If not, start by encouraging them to open their own doors and yours, too.

Last thing about doors. The doors you keep locked, the doors that allow you in and not the individuals, are symbols and reminders to them that they are not equal in status to you. In many, if not most buildings, including their own homes, there are doors that are locked. Some of them keep unsafe things locked up. Some doors lock the individuals in their own homes for safety. I have found that they understand why those are locked up and agree with the safety aspect. The doors they are really concerned about are the ones that keep the goodies behind them and keep the goodies from them. The candy jars are kept behind these doors and the individuals know this. If staff, clinicians, and supervisors need chocolate therapy, then the individuals do, too. Some doors hold important papers and meetings and therefore the individuals are discouraged from entering. These include offices in their own homes. And staff lounges in their day program buildings. (Could they have a lounge, too?) I don't have an answer to this as some doors are necessary. This is just to think about what message a locked door is sending to an individual you support. Is it a necessary boundary or another reminder of a relationship of inequality and lower status?