When people with intellectual disabilities go out, the jargon we use is that they are 'going out in the community', 'going on a rec. event', or 'going on an outing'. (I often wonder why we use terms with people with disabilities that we don't use with others but that will be left for another day/another blog entry).
Anyway, I have seen a lot of things when I have been out with individuals with intellectual disabilities and I am going to share a few of my stories with you. Overall, my experiences have been very positive. I am happy to say that society does seem to want to get to know people with disabilities after all those years of seclusion in institutions. Anytime I have experienced negative interactions with community members, it is really just because they are unaware. They don't know how to interact or they are afraid of the unknown, maybe.
Many years ago when I started going out with people, a woman at the gym we were attending commented to me, "Oh, you must have the inmates out today." I nicely explained to her that that was not the case and we went on to exercise. We continued to go to that same gym for a few years and this woman established a relationship with the individuals. She was able to see that they were not inmates but instead just really likeable people.
Another time, I brought some people to a hospital to do some volunteer work. A woman there greeted us and said to me (as if the others weren't there), "I see you have the kids out today, how cute." I told her gently they are adults and that they were there to do volunteer work. It is really important to interject (always politely) when someone says something that could be construed as negative. Many times the individuals don't have the voice to stand up for themselves and they internalize what is said about them in front of them. In those cases, as you are encouraging them to find their own voice, you have to be their voice. As we did our work at the hospital, when she saw that the individuals were capable adults able to volunteer their services efficiently, she gained respect for them.
In another case while at the mall, one of the individuals, M, signed that he would like a cup of coffee. Due to a misunderstanding, he thought he had money but he didn't and we did not have any, either. (Something I have since remedied. I always carry a little money, now, just in case). M got frustrated and had an emotional meltdown. He just could not regain control. He sat himself in the middle of the hallway in front of the store with the coffee and yelled or tried to kick anyone who tried to get near him. No amount of reassurance that he could have coffee as soon as we got back home helped. A nice gentleman appeared and respectfully asked if he could help. I said he could get us a cup of coffee. He went over and tried to purchase a cup of coffee but the store employee, having seen the event, gave it to him for free. The helpful man introduced himself, shook M's hand and gave him the coffee. My distressed friend calmed down, enjoyed his coffee, and the rest of the day went fine.
I have many more stories but my overall point is that when you happen to bump into someone with a disability, just treat them like you would anyone else. If you happen to be a sociable type that talks to everyone, you can strike up a conversation with them. If you happen to run across someone who needs help, you could offer. If you just keep to yourself while you are out, that's ok, too. That's actually what I have experienced most often. Everyone just doing their thing. If you happen to be providing a service to an individual with intellectual disabilities, try to pretend the staff isn't there. Address the person and conduct the transaction primarily with them. Staff will hopefully stand back and assist only as needed.
Enjoy the opportunity to get to know people with intellectual disabilities. They have so much to offer the world and you personally.
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