It's Just About Being Happy

Is all behavior ultimately about being happy?

When someone is having an emotional crisis, we have tools to help figure out why they are having difficulty (in the case where they can't tell us).

These assessment tools lead us to four broad options:
1. Tangible. It could be because they want something, like a cookie or to go shopping.

2. Escape. It could be because they want to escape something, such as a loud room, or a staff request, or a work activity they don't like.

3. Sensory. It could be because they are trying to feel good or soothe themselves, such as rocking or taking a shower, or disrobing because they are hot.

4. Attention. It could be that they need or want someone's attention for something.

The purpose of the assessment is to quickly ascertain why the person is crying or yelling or pacing or lying on the ground, when they are unable to tell someone what they need. Although there are certainly many other reasons why problematic behavior occurs, the assessment is an effort to make things simple in the moment and effectively help someone to calm.

What if we made it even simpler and said all behavior is an effort to be happy? Well, it would be less clinical and more human to think that way. And it would be the great equalizer, meaning all humans strive to be happy, not just people with intellectual disabilities. It would be more respectful to think it's all about being happy rather than saying, "They're just attention-seeking."

In an effort to simplify, it ironically becomes complex, though. If I want to help someone who needs or wants attention when all they really want is to be happy, I have to figure out why they want attention in such manner as to hurt themselves or others in order to get it. Why couldn't they just ask for attention? What are the underlying feelings? How has this person's life experience set them up so that they need to do something drastic in order to get some attention and acknowledgment?

These questions then make it even more complex to figure out. They could be lonely, bored, feel inadequate, feel unsafe, want more status,want to make a contribution, want to experience more self-direction, love, and recognition. The underlying, deeper reasons for wanting attention go on and on. We have to remember that it is ok to want attention. We all want attention. And we all want to be happy.